So I found that you can actually find this website by googling my name now. Various “background search” webpages also connect me to the page.
At least it will keep things interesting if I ever need to apply for a job in the future.
Mar 242011
Dec 062010
Today I learned what my tasks will be at work for the next month or so, got a shipment from newegg that I thought my debit card blocked due to a false-positive fraud alert, and an offer in the mail to be an AARP member.
So, uh, yeah.
Dec 032010
Yeah yeah. I know I start to update this page every time only to abandon it for ages. I’m coming back to it this time because I’m extremely sick of facebook. I don’t mind twitter so much but I haven’t been terribly active on that either. Maybe I’ll get around to adding a widget on here to connect this to twitter.
Either way I haven’t posted any kind of update or blog in a while. So what’s been on my mind lately? 3 things-Work, games, and death metal.
So I’ve been pretty excited about work lately. On Monday I moved into my new position as Compliance Coordinator. Essentially, what I will be doing is ensuring that our company conforms to various standards revolving around environmental, health & safety, and security. This is a pretty dynamic shift for me seeing as how all my jobs before this pretty much involved me lifting, tossing, or frying something.
I haven’t really dug in to my new job yet since I’ve been in Indianapolis for most of the week learning how to be involved in an audit process for that facility. I went down there with the CEO who had the idea that it would be helpful to do a bunch of training with me as we drove down there and back. I suppose it was a good idea, but trying to learn the standard we’re being audited to starting at five AM on a six hour drive isn’t the easiest thing to do. Next week should be a little more straight-forward and I can see how I feel about digging into the meat-and-potatoes of what I’ll be doing all the time. I do know that I will be heading to California in early January to do the same thing that I did in Indiana.
So… games. I’ve been playing a few lately.
First off, Call of Duty: Black Ops. It’s pretty fun, but it’s just a spin on Modern Warfare 2. Some things are better. Some are worse. Actually, there’s not too much to say about that one.
I’ve also picked up an interesting game called Vindictus. It’s a free-to-play MMO based on the Source engine (Half Life 2, etc). It’s basically a hack-and-slash game with RPG elements. It’s sort of basic but it’s pretty fun to jump into an instance and stab things until they die.
I’ve also been playing Starcraft 2. I’m terribly frustrated with this game and it is 100% due to the fact that I’m not good at all. I mean, I’m in the gold league in 1v1 but I tend to top out at a whopping 30 APM and I’m not making much progress in getting any better.
I’d like to recommend and also warn everyone about a very dangerous game: Minecraft. It’s a game about mining and building. The graphics are blocky and there is no real point or goal in the game. What’s dangerous then? It’s more addictive than heroin ice cream. I mean, you’ll start by trying to dig up some stone to build your castle and 3 hours later your building cactus traps and wondering if you ate dinner.
Lastly, death metal. I know we used to make fun it and decry Tore for it, but it’s definitely grown on me. We went to an awesome Cannibal Corpse concert a few weeks ago. It’s kind of funny because they were playing at The Annex in Madison and we were joking at how it was “An Intimate Evening with Cannibal Corpse.” Dying Fetus tore it up, though. I’d say my top 10 bands right now are:
- Amon Amarth
- DevilDriver
- Necrophagist
- Dark Tranquility
- Vader
- Bolt Thrower
- Dying Fetus
- Arch Enemy
- Nile
- Dethklok (no joke. the first Dethalbum is awesome)
Well, that’s all for now.
SHB Part 17
SHB
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Feb 272010
Last time, Devastator got sent back in time and found out that all the time traveling that he and SEXUAL HARASSMENT BOY did pissed off some powerful, cosmic assholes. Now, those assholes a wreaking havoc across all of time. They say that they’re attacking “all” of time. Obviously that makes no sense because then they wouldn’t be attacking the present. They would be attacking always. That wouldn’t work at all and would be really hard to write a story about, but that’s what’s going on. I’m telling you, sometimes you have to suck it up and stop crying and worrying about stuff.
SEXUAL HARASSMENT BOY, Lilly, and Devastator arrived at the site where most of the destruction was happening. Most of the destruction was coming from three forty foot tall corporeal beings that looked almost like giant, wispy Grim Reapers.
Armies from nations all across the world were already there and doing their best to fight the beings with all they had. The man leading the attack was, of course, Ice Cube.
“It’s about muthafuckin’ time! We doin’ all we can here, but somebody gotta roast this muthafucka! You wit’ me, nicca?” Ice Cube said.
“I’m with you, Ice Cube.” SEXUAL HARASSMENT BOY said.
Everyone, even the three entities, within a three mile radius stopped what they were doing and gasped hard—Those were the first words ever uttered by the most powerful and sexually active eight-year old super hero.
“Damn, son.” Ice Cube said.
After a few moments the fighting resumed. The heroes were trying to plan a battle strategy when the entities spoke, “Enough! It’s time to end this! We shall now cause time to stop being linear! It will only exist as a point! You will all cease to exist and our job will be done!”
The beings then began focusing their powers together into what appeared to be a ball of energy between them. The ball of energy suddenly began drawing everything into it. Everyone was trying to resist getting sucked in.
Suddenly Lilly’s expression became stern and she started flying at top speed at the energy ball.
“We can’t beat them in our world, so we have to draw them into theirs!” She said. “I’ll use my magic to draw them into the Time Point and make you guys able to exist in there! SEXUAL HARASSMENT BOY! Devastator! Ice Cube! I know you can beat them! Please!”
SEXUAL HARASSMENT BOY watched as Lilly flew towards the ball of energy and as she started using her magic, everything turned white.
Look out for Part 18!
SHB Part 16
SHB
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Feb 272010
At the end of the last adventure, SEXUAL HARASSMENT BOY took the M*A*S*H character look-a-like and hurled him into a portal and sent his hairy shit to the beginning of time. Well, not exactly. You see, SEXUAL HARASSMENT BOY’s newfound time powers were, well, newfound. He hadn’t quite gotten things on lockdown at that point. You see, he sent Devastator (who has summarily removed the exclamation mark from his name due to formatting issues in openoffice.org’s Writer) to before the beginning of time. Now, I understand that this doesn’t make much sense and probably can’t really happen as far as “logic” or “science” are concerned, but it makes for a good story so shut up.
The thing about Devastator is that he is from the future (as far as SEXUAL HARASSMENT BOY’s present is concerned) and although he occasionally assumes the form of an ugly actor from the 70′s, he is truly powerful—And not even that ugly. His true form is that of an buff, evil-looking guy that pretty much looks like he came from a comic book. No joke—he wears black and has a cape and everything. Not like “Archie” or something, either. I’m talking this dude looks straight out of Spawn or some shit. Why he makes himself look like Jamie Farr is beyond me. I mean, even if he did like M*A*S*H that much, he still picked the worst character. Anyway, Devastator is truly one of the most powerful beings ever. So powerful, in fact, that he can exist outside of time.
Before there was time, there was a whole lot of blackness and spinning shits, apparently. There wasn’t much to see or do since not even Devastator could exist consciously. He was neither alive nor dead. His existence could best be described as dreaming. Whatever that means. Seems like it was supposed to sound poetic or something. Weird.
Suddenly, in they abyss something spoke into his mind.
“We are beings beyond your understanding. I will create an illusionary world in your mind that you will understand so that we may speak to you,” the voice said. Suddenly, Devastator appeared and so did a room around him. He looked around and noticed boobies, loud music, and dollar bills.
“A strip club?” He said. “Whoever did this knows what’s up.”
The beings that spoke to him appeared as strippers and took him into a VIP room. He sat down in a chair and began searching for his wallet only to realize that it apparently didn’t exist there. He sighed heavily and listened to what they had to say.
“Listen and listen well. You and your fellow beings that dwell within the confines of time have become too powerful. Your existence here is proof of that. We have decided that we are declaring war on you,” the strippers said in unison while trying to ignore Devastator’s giant boner.
“You aren’t…Gods, are you?” Devastator asked.
“No. The existence of everything that is is far beyond any level of your comprehension, and even ours at levels higher than us. However, we can see your progress and feel as if it may become a threat to us. We cannot allow this.” They said.
Devastator could barely understand, let alone believe what they were saying. He knew one thing—If what they were saying was true, he was in deep shit.
“Now! I will send you back from when you came. Since we exist separate from time as you understand it, the assault will probably be started when we put you back. We wish you to deliver the message and surrender so that the slaughter can happen with little resistance. Now go…” As they finished speaking, Devastator felt something familiar—Pain. He woke up on the floor of his lair in SEXUAL HARASSMENT BOY’s time. He crumpled up on the floor because the last thing that happened before he was thrown in the portal was SEXUAL HARASSMENT BOY punching him right in the sack.
Eight to eleven minutes later, he stood up and was about to leave when SEXUAL HARASSMENT BOY and Lilly ran into the building.
“Devastator! How did I know we’d find you again! What have you done?” Lilly said. She was almost ready to burst into tears.
Devastator ran past them and looked outside. Lemme just tell you, shit was fucked. The sky was black. Things were destroyed and people were panicking. He turned around and said, “Check this shit out.” and retold what had happened to him.
“Son of a titmaster…” Lilly said in disbelief. “I don’t know how to say this, but if you’re right, then we’re in even worse trouble than you think. If what you said is what’s up, then they must only be preparing right now… Their full attack must be coming soon!”
Devastator paused to consider the situation and had an idea. He began to speak only for the building to start shaking.
“Look,” Devastator began, “I don’t know what the fuck is going on anymore, but our shit is about to get pushed in and I don’t like it. I don’t know about you guys, but I’m not gonna stand here while our whole… dimension gets it’s shit tore up. I know I’m a bad guy and all that, but there won’t even be anything for me to try to rule if these things take over. They spoke to me so now I feel like I gotta go out there and try to stop them, or at the very least have front row seats for our shit getting ended.”
SEXUAL HARASSMENT BOY nodded and ran outside along with Devastator and Lilly not knowing what was ahead, but knowing that if they couldn’t stop it, no one could.
Yikes, that was a different tone than most of these. Stay tuned for Part 17!
